Today an interview with a man hailing from Holland who has had a fair share of side jobs:

You’ve had a number of interesting odd jobs. What were they?

“I’ve cleaned airplanes, renovated a corporate building, executed demolition works, have been a nightwatchman at a school, worked at a beach cafe, emptied containers filled with sardine cans, filled up sandboxes at a furniture boulevard, asked people to fill out questionnaires and designed slaughter machinery. Additionally I’ve had some more typical odd jobs such as delivering newspapers, moving stuff, working in the service industry and tending a garden (not my own).”

Have you learned things about your workplaces that people usually don’t know about?

“I’ve learned you never want to become an aircraft mechanic. I’ve seen them crawl into nauseatingly small holes. I’ve been inside the cockpit and in the sleeping quarters of the stewardesses (nice and cosy, particularly with the stewardesses). The pilot has a private toilet. I’ve walked underneath a Boeing. I’ve also learned people are incredibly vile and will turn anything that doesn’t belong to them into a disgusting mess. Next time you get in or out of a plane at Schiphol (Amsterdam Airport), pay attention and you might see the last cleaner come or go. They have 15 minutes to clean an aircraft (not much). I’ve also noticed that Asian airlines provide all passengers with gameboys.

Demolition is fun. I’ve rammed down walls, torn ceilings apart and ripped floor tiles out. And it was great. Magnificent anti-aggression therapy.

Also, asking people to enter a questionnaire is significantly less successful when you do so wearing a leather jacket.”

“When you think of these jobs, what do you remember most?

“My time at Schiphol was most memorable. Pleasant people, easy to have a laugh with. I was the only Dutchman there. The others were a mix of people from Suriname, Morocco and Turkey. They called me ‘the Czech’. Probably because I was speaking ‘laik dem’ after a week. That Moroccish automatically growns on you. They were quite a bunch of scum. Everything was finders keepers. That includes anything left in the kitchen. Sandwiches, fizzy drinks, booze… I’ve taken my share of things. To this day I eat using KLM cutlery.

Being a nightwatchman is a thoroughly boring job, especially when I discovered I had accidentally signed up for two subsequent shifts. Sixteen hours of web surfing. Thank goodness it was a school. I spent some time exhausting myself in the gym. And hung around the student lounge. I also practised stick fighting (you’ve got to do -something-).”

What do you think of Megan Fox?

“Dark-haired sprightly diva.”